Recently I have been noticing a lot of old baggage starting to resurface to the front of my head. All the negative thought I used to have with regards to several situations and a lot of “what if” is popping up on my head…. all of them counter productive to my own happiness and ability to move forward in my life.
The main one is the end of my relationship that ended well over a year now. I admit that it took me roughly 9 months to fully heal from that and almost everyday during that period I was filled with thoughts of anger, betrayal, pity… very low vibrational thoughts. But I overcame this… I felt on top of myself and i think thats where I slipped..
Once you find yourself in a better place you need to keep yourself there. Once I fully realised the healing was done with regards to my ex it was almost like I expected the next relationship to come to me…. roses in hand… but it doesn’t work out that way… and I feel very foolish for having to address expectations which is one of my biggest flaws.
Perhaps that’s why I am aware that these things are coming to me…. because of failed expectations… making it easy for my mind to turn to bitter regret and point the finger of blame on past misforgivings…. meaning any buried and closed cases are being re-opened.
How counter productive is that….. it’s so ridiculous…. to re-open wounds and hurt yourself because you set expectations of things to happen instead of just having gratitude and living fully in each moment!
On the night after I leave this extract…. I plan to have a good meditate, cleanse the chakras… perhaps have a smudging… and then just enjoy myself (in a clean way)…. and maybe a tarot… cause as detrimental as expectation is…. there is a lot to be said for the comfort of foresight.